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Self harm

i was just wondering what peoples views are.
Do you think its accepctable and how do you fell knowing that doctors often treat self harmers like ****, in otherwords are rude to them, etc..

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Reply 1

Ciurlis1

its not only teenagers that self-harm and in many cases self-harmers actually hide what they are doing (hence they cannto possibly be seeking attention). It's just a way of releasing emotions + anger etc. etc. I guess you could call punching a wall when you're p***ed off self-harm. It all depends on the level you do it - there's a threshold after which it becomes somethign that needs to be 'cured' or 'helped' or 'sorted out' but other than that there is a type of 'harmless self harm' such as punching a wall which is a helpful release!

I haven;t heard of doctors treating self-harmers badly so i won't comment.

Reply 2

zooropa

What doctor would scorn someone for self-harming?! Even if a doctor is personally opposed to such actions, s/he shouldn't translate that into his work. A good doctor should know better than that.

Self-harming is a symptom of mental illness, so no doctor should dismiss it as a "fad".

Reply 3

Hayley_Valo666

Youd be surprized at the sort of treatment self harmers get in hospitals. A lot of doctors feel that victems with accidental wounds have more right to treatment than those with self inflicted wounds.

http://www.selfinjury.org/

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

Hayley_Valo666

i was just wondering what peoples views are.
Do you think its accepctable and how do you fell knowing that doctors often treat self harmers like ****, in otherwords are rude to them, etc..

And what's your evidence for this exactly? Extract and post some evidence of this to back your statement up. What do you mean by "acceptable" exactly? You said that "A lot of doctors feel that victims with accidental wounds have more right to treatment than those with self inflicted wounds". Well both get treated if they seek out treatment but ppl with accidental wounds didn't purposely get those wounds and although self-inflicted wounds should be paid attention to for treating and curing the condition, can't you see why some ppl might feel like this?

Here's a quote from your hyperlinked site:

"The first step toward coping with self-injurious behavior is education".

If you're affected by what you posted about then apply this to yourself by focusing on your education. It'll also be useful for you to keep an open and analytical mind about situations etc.

Reply 5

Spiral Architect

Last time I responded to one of these threads I had this little message left in my warnings:

Encouraging self-harm and not helpful, just harmful! Stop!

Reply 6

lazza

people have to be aware of self harm. however when i was in year 8 we had a talk on self harm, where "safe" self harming was promoted as a method of stress management. however the majority of people, being addicted to it, moved from the safe, to extreme methods. which resulted in a pretty messed up yeargroup...

Reply 7

lazza

in my opinion there are two types of self harmers:

1.the ones who want someone to notice. they may deny this but they deep down they want someone realise what's going on, so may "accidently" make it visible to others what's going on. this does not necessarily mean they don't want to inflict pain on themselves

2.the ones who are more secretive in their actions, and genuinely do not want people to know, and honestly find it their only method of release

this is obviously a generalisation, and both 2 extremes [both of which i've faced personally]. both are obviously as dangerous as the other

but as i said. that's only my opinion. and loads of you probably think it's wrong. accepted

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

Unfortunately, there are also types of self-harmers that do it because it's common to a social group so by doing it they feel cool and more in there. It's sad but it's true. There are also ppl that use their self-harm as emotional blackmail and try to make others feel in horrible situations too. :frown:

Also true as I've experienced someone doing that. :mad:

Reply 9

lazza

i would put themm in column one maybe

but yeah. i know kids who proper cut their arms up then wear short tees the next day....

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

lazza

i would put themm in column one maybe

but yeah. i know kids who proper cut their arms up then wear short tees the next day....

I find that disturbing- do you? I know someone, whom my last 2 points were partially based on, that hack up their arms then proudly show it to their friends like they're proving how hardcore and cool they are- sick. Said person also finds other such images of self-inflicted wounds cool and has a computer full of them! :eek:

Reply 11

Anonymous #1

lazza

i would put themm in column one maybe

but yeah. i know kids who proper cut their arms up then wear short tees the next day....

Even during the summer?!????

Reply 12

xXMessedUpXx

*Warning: contains possible self harm triggery*

Firstly, sorry for the long post, i just have a lot to explain :smile:

Ok, in my experience, most self harmers (has been mentioned before) don't do it to be "cool", or because friends do it. To be honest a lot i've spoken too many weren't even aware that waht they were doing had a name, or indeed that others did it. That was the siuation in my case. First self harmed (SH) when i was about 12. I was being bullied from when i was 10/11 (lasted till i was 16).

Spoiler

I did see a doctor, and had counselling tho that was more in relation to my depression. That said the reason i first sought help, was because i had realised through someones reaction, that i was "sel harming" and wanted help. Tho my school required my parents permission (as i was 15) for counselling so i refused it. Became more depressed during my GCSE years, *OD trig*

Spoiler

Its a very difficult position for fmaily/friends to be in. I have not been on the other ide so to say, i am a self harmer, and i can only see it from that point of view. However i am now at least aware of what i must have put my fmaily through. They didn't know what to do, or how to tackle that, and i feel so ashamed of what i have put them through. I guess i started doing that cos i was angry at myself, in my way of thinking, i must have been a horrible person to deserve to be bullied, i blamed myself for it, and i took it out on myself. Although some people find the pain makes them feel, or calms then down. I felt it. It hurt. But i honestly thought i deserved it. I deserved that pain, and in a way it was easier for me to deal with than what i had to endure during school.

I'm 19 now, and although i deny it to myself, i am still a self harmer. :frown:

It feels like i always will be. I relied on it as a "coping" method for so long its very hard to not subconciously turn to that when i'm very down. I don't condone what i do. It isn't "right", it isn't "cool" and people who do it need help. But (and don't take this as an excuse), in the worse times, i could have killed myself, but SH'd instead. Thinking about it, that does sound horrible doesn't it.

It angers me how so many people dismiss all self harmers as attention seeker. We're not. We are real people, with real feelings. Yes there are a minority who do it to be cool, but truth be told we hates them as much as non-self harmers do! My only advice is don't be so quick to judge. Its very easy to do that. I did before i ever did it. Think about it this way, if someone is willing to cause such external pain to themselves, then imagine how much internal pain that person is experiencing.

Information For Families/Friends of Self-Harmers
Secret Shame-Help for Those Who Self Harm
BUS (Bodies Under Siege)-forum for those seeking support from self harm, depression, ED's etc

Reply 13

lazza

Anonymous

well most of the people who i knew did things like this really needed someone to notice, and if that's the only way, and you're not thinking clearly, then you'll do it

Reply 14

Anonymous #1

Poor you.

Being bullied isn't your fault and you shouldn't feel as if you deserve the pain- you should treat yourself more often instead. I wasn't prejudicing though; what I said was just based on what I've come across.

Reply 15

lazza

xXMessedUpXx

It angers me how so many people dismiss all self harmers as attention seeker. We're not. We are real people, with real feelings. Yes there are a minority who do it to be cool, but truth be told we hates them as much as non-self harmers do! My only advice is don't be so quick to judge. Its very easy to do that. I did before i ever did it. Think about it this way, if someone is willing to cause such external pain to themselves, then imagine how much internal pain that person is experiencing.

in case you are aiming this at me, there is no way i can dismiss myself as an attention seeker. i just said at times, if people want others to notice how miserable they really are, then often that's the method they use

it's ***** giving up. i have about 4-6 times. it's bloody difficult but worth it i guess

Reply 16

Anonymous #1

lazza

well most of the people who i knew did things like this really needed someone to notice, and if that's the only way, and you're not thinking clearly, then you'll do it

I see what you mean but surely speaking to somebody you trust in confidence or who's in a position to help you is better, more effective and more aesthetically pleasing so all of society don't know. If more ppl know whom you don't want involved, it can cause unwanted hassle and further distress, which wont help anybody.

Reply 17

xXMessedUpXx

lazza

It wasn't aimed at you, so try not to get worked up (s'ok, i do too over thread involing self harm)

In some ways its like an addiction, so i can understand why you've found i difficult to give up

Maybe you do it for attention, but so you do it cos you want people to realsise how **** you feel, to care? Or cos you think its terndy and makes you cool. As my comment was more aimed at the latter really

Reply 18

lazza

i wasn't getting worked up about it, it was just explaining my comments in case you were offended. however you have now offended me as you're implying i do it for the fashion? now this comment makes me laugh it really does. i have NO scars. NO cuts. i'm not going to go into depth but living in a household full of medical professionals i have to be pretty careful if you catch my drift. now this might not make me as Xcore as you, but it's my method of release in response to years of bullying depression anxiety loss of family, the works really. an unhealthy one at that. just because i'm making the effort to quit doesn't mean that i didn't rely on it

Reply 19

Reue

Personally, to an extent i have to agree that priority to wound recovery should be given to those with accidental damage.

Alot of selm harm is actually done to attract attention, No matter how much these said depressed people say they want to be alone etc, by self harming and then letting others find out, its a cry for attention, for help.

The people that really need the help are those that are past the calling for help stage. The people who do it for reasons other then for attention, and thats where the problem lies. Because they dont want attention.. they dont get it.