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I think I might be gay : A guide
From The Student RoomTSR Wiki > Life > Health and Relationships > Relationships > I think I might be gay : A guide Going through your teenage years can be a difficult time, especially if you are confused about your sexuality. This guide if there to try to help if you are any age and confused about your sexuality. It answers many of the questions that you might have. What does being gay mean?Putting the whole "nature v nurture" argument to a side, the Cambridge dictionary defines it as.... a person, who is sexually & emotionally attracted to people of the same sex .... and that is what it is an attraction. Not if you have slept with the member of the same sex.
I had a "same sex fantasy" - does that mean I am gay?No this doesn't mean that you are gay. People have dreams about many things many of these mean nothing. If you are having sexual fantasies and you are attracted to the same sex then that could indicate that you are gay or bisexual but it is by no means a certainty and only you can really know. I had a gay encounter, does that mean I am gay?I have a friend who, in his words, "banged every girl at uni" - but he is gay, he is attracted to men and not women. So, it works the same way for straight peeps. Its the attraction. Most people have sexual experiences with their hand(s)? but would you say I am sexually attracted to my hand? Of course not, I hope but it is the principle that it is the attraction and not the action. Again only you can really know who it is that you are attracted to and a sexual experiance does not define your entire sexuality. How else can I find out if I am gay?There isn't a set time or place in which you can discover yourself. Some kind of know whereas others it takes going through a marriage!
Is there a 'yes' and 'no' to being gay?This is a very complex subject. The fact that TSR has threads all the time proves that. How can we label it as 'yes' or 'no' when you can study this subject to degree level and beyond. There are many theories - but no shoe fits all.
Your romantic historyHow did you feel when that guy kissed you? Did your heart have a heart-attack - where there fireworks in your stomach? Who did you have crushes on? What sort of fantasies did you have? What turns you on? These questions mold your orientation
Coming outWell ... hmm ... I advocate that you respect the privacy of individuals you know may be struggling to come to terms with their sexuality or come out and if that is the case, not to broadcast it to the world, it usually brings no benefit. I say, find a special friend and confide in that friend where you can discuss your emotions and feelings. I also advocate timing, come out when you want to and when it is economically and emotionally feasible to do so. Don't let it be the situation where you come out and have to suffer the consequences of having a backwards family.
You are NOT aloneNo not at all. There are many gay people (quite a few on TSR) who come from different backgrounds and have been in your situation. Parents can be supportive, as friends. Talking to friends and family members if and when you are ready, and when you feel comfortable and safe. It is best to speak to someone face-to-face but there are other ways like the contacting a helpline or going onto the internet. What not to do
Try to keep things light hearted
Other useful linksNotes
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