FOMO as muslim fresher

Hi, with freshers and uni offers coming out i’ve joined my uni groupchat and it’s filled with talks of fresher parties, raves and the like. I am a girl that comes from a pretty conservative muslim family, and will be going to a uni very far from their protection but even from these chats alone I have a big FOMO for some strange reason. If i do attend, i will not drink/do drugs but I will want to know if it will be halal for me to be there in person just to party, and if any other muslim girls have had similar thoughts and what they’ve done for it.
Thank you

Reply 1

Scotland Yard

Clearing and Applications Advisor, Universities Forum Helper

20

Original post by Anonymous

Hi, with freshers and uni offers coming out i’ve joined my uni groupchat and it’s filled with talks of fresher parties, raves and the like. I am a girl that comes from a pretty conservative muslim family, and will be going to a uni very far from their protection but even from these chats alone I have a big FOMO for some strange reason. If i do attend, i will not drink/do drugs but I will want to know if it will be halal for me to be there in person just to party, and if any other muslim girls have had similar thoughts and what they’ve done for it.
Thank you

I'm not muslim, so I can't comment on the halal/haram aspect of you going to these things, but I just want to note that you probably wouldn't enjoy raves if you're not drinking. I once made the massive, massive mistake of going into a club sober... never again. You see the thing for what it actually is: a dingy, disgusting place full of people who've had one, or two, or more often than not five or six too many. Trust me, you wouldn't be missing out on these places if you choose not to go to them.

Parties are a different story, depending on what kind of party. Flat parties are usually nice places to be because there aren't that many people and people are there to talk and be friendly and have a good time. Does alcohol help? It very much does, but it isn't an essential part. I was on some medication about a month ago that I couldn't take with alcohol but I kept going to the recurring Friday flat party across the hall from me and had a great, alcohol-free time.

Original post by Anonymous #1

Hi, with freshers and uni offers coming out i’ve joined my uni groupchat and it’s filled with talks of fresher parties, raves and the like. I am a girl that comes from a pretty conservative muslim family, and will be going to a uni very far from their protection but even from these chats alone I have a big FOMO for some strange reason. If i do attend, i will not drink/do drugs but I will want to know if it will be halal for me to be there in person just to party, and if any other muslim girls have had similar thoughts and what they’ve done for it.
Thank you

Hello there,

I get where you're coming from. It's natural to feel FOMO when the uni group chat lights up with party plans, especially coming from a conservative Muslim background.

Though I'm not Muslim myself, I've had insightful talks with my conservative Muslim friends (roommates), and they've shared a balanced view on partying. They say being there without drinking or drugs isn't haram as long as you're with a supportive group that respects your boundaries (their perspective). Ensure you stay with people who are not pressuring you to do something you are uncomfortable with. For instance, we (all our roommates) have been to several parties and we always try to make it as comfortable for them (Muslim friends) as possible. Most of us don't drink, but we enjoy being together and having yummy food later, lol.

If you decide to join, grab a Coke and enjoy the moment! But remember, you can opt-out if you're not comfortable. Your peace of mind matters most.
Whatever you choose, it's valid. If you need to chat more, I'm here.

Cheers,
Shri (MSc International Business Student).

(edited 1 month ago)

Reply 3

I7V

7

Original post by Anonymous #1

Hi, with freshers and uni offers coming out i’ve joined my uni groupchat and it’s filled with talks of fresher parties, raves and the like. I am a girl that comes from a pretty conservative muslim family, and will be going to a uni very far from their protection but even from these chats alone I have a big FOMO for some strange reason. If i do attend, i will not drink/do drugs but I will want to know if it will be halal for me to be there in person just to party, and if any other muslim girls have had similar thoughts and what they’ve done for it.
Thank you

The Prophet ﷺ said (meaning): “Whoever among you sees an evil action, let him change it with his hand (by taking action); if he cannot, then with his tongue (by speaking out); if he cannot, then with his heart (by hating it and feeling that it is wrong), and that is the weakest of faith.” [Saheeh Muslim 70]
If a Muslim is commanded to to these things, it is impossible for them to sit in places where these things are happening. How can one enjoy sitting in one of these places where such filth and evil is happening whilst having hate in their heart towards it? Furthermore, the Prophet ﷺ said (meaning): “Whoever believes in Allaah and the Last Day, let him not sit at a table where wine is being drunk.” [Musnad Ahmad 126 - authenticated by al-Albaani in Irwa’ al-Ghaleel, 7/6]

I sincerely advise you, may Allāh bless you, to really evaluate the choices you are making. You are moving far away from you parents and surrounding yourself in a harmful environment in which you yourself admit that you are getting lured into - you haven't even got there yet! It hurts me to see things like this happen as I truly care about you and want things to end up well for you. Shaytān starts off small and lures you in bit by bit into falling as far away from your religion as possible. It is not a good idea at all to go, even if you say that you won't do drugs and alcohol. It always starts off like this and once you get there, you will feel pressured to do that and worse. Please consider your religion and īmān because if you lose it, you've lost everything.

Allāh said (meaning): {And whoever turns away from My remembrance - indeed, he will have a depressed life, and We will gather him on the Day of Resurrection blind.} [Tā Hā 20:124]

As a Muslimah, you have to be extra careful and protective of yourself especially in these environments as they designed to take your religion away from you. We have been warned that we need to be extra careful about who we surround ourselves with, otherwise they will drag us to Hell with them:
The Prophet ﷺ said (meaning): “Verily, the parable of good and bad company is that of a seller of musk and a blacksmith. The seller of musk will give you perfume, you will buy some, or you will notice a pleasant smell. As for the blacksmith, he will burn your clothes, or you will notice a bad smell.” [Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 5534, Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 262]
Allāh said (meaning): {And (remember) the Day when the Zâlim (wrong-doer, oppressor, polytheist) will bite at his hands, he will say: "Oh would that I had taken a path with the Messenger! Oh woe to me! If only I had never taken so-and-so as a close friend! He indeed led me astray from the Reminder after it had come to me. And Shaytân is to man ever a deserter”} [al-Furqān 25:27-29]

Therefore, I advise you to reconsider his choice of moving away from your parents and I also advise you to look for the Muslim community in your university, rather than non-Muslims, as they will be better company for you and will make you more comfortable in staying away from these things. If you need any further advice, I would be happy to help - in shā' Allāh.

Original post by Anonymous

Hi, with freshers and uni offers coming out i’ve joined my uni groupchat and it’s filled with talks of fresher parties, raves and the like. I am a girl that comes from a pretty conservative muslim family, and will be going to a uni very far from their protection but even from these chats alone I have a big FOMO for some strange reason. If i do attend, i will not drink/do drugs but I will want to know if it will be halal for me to be there in person just to party, and if any other muslim girls have had similar thoughts and what they’ve done for it.
Thank you

Hi there,

Although I am not Muslim nor come for a Muslim background, I personally don't drink or go to parties as personal preference.
Even though a lot of freshers parties are currently being advertised I would say that if you decided not to go to them you would not be missing out on too much and there are many other activities which happen throughout freshers week which don't involve drinking such as petting zoos, freshers fair, plants sales etc... I would also say that it is your choice weather or not you would like to attend different freshers events and do what you are comfortable with as everyone is so nice and understands peoples boundaries, don't let anyone pressure you into something which you don't want to do or that you feel is against you religion and remember if you are uncomfortable you can always go home.

I hope this helps 😊
Katie - Student Ambassador

Original post by Anonymous

Hi, with freshers and uni offers coming out i’ve joined my uni groupchat and it’s filled with talks of fresher parties, raves and the like. I am a girl that comes from a pretty conservative muslim family, and will be going to a uni very far from their protection but even from these chats alone I have a big FOMO for some strange reason. If i do attend, i will not drink/do drugs but I will want to know if it will be halal for me to be there in person just to party, and if any other muslim girls have had similar thoughts and what they’ve done for it.
Thank you

Hi there,

I'm sorry to read that you're experiencing FOMO but I want to reassure you that this isn't all that goes into uni and I'm sure that with time you will meet plenty of cool people who want to do things other than drinking/ partying! Have you looked into societies at your new univeristy? There may be groups who do things outside of drinking.

All the best,
Jaz - Cardiff student rep

FOMO as muslim fresher

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