Shrouded In Shame

Good evening all, I hope you're doing well and enjoying your studies.

I am in my mid-30s and I recently left the workforce in order to do one of my life goals, that is to get my Bachelor's degree.

I am studying software development at the Open University and have started my first module. I studied over 10 years ago so I am effectly starting from year 2.

I have considered taking student finance to fund my tution fees but I have been back and forth about it as:

a) I have immense shame about taking money. I have been self sufficient for over a decade and always paid my own way and have felt like I am losing my independence a bit and riddled with guilt and shame.

b) I had a student loan the first time I went to Uni and I never managed to pay it off through my wages...ultimately, I decided to pay it off in a lump sum so I could become debt free. I feel shame when I think about getting into debt again.

I can scrape together enough money for fees to cover my degree but the cost will mean I will be having around £10 a week for food...I have been living like this since the start of the year and not eating properly is miserable but it means I won't be in debt. But I want to live not just survive.

Also, if I did go the loan route, it means I could also get my Masters degree, another life goal.

Does anybody else as an older student feel any kind of shame about the loans?

Thank you. All the best.

Reply 1

Peanut_Butter

Original post by CheckMyBrain

Good evening all, I hope you're doing well and enjoying your studies.
I am in my mid-30s and I recently left the workforce in order to do one of my life goals, that is to get my Bachelor's degree.
I am studying software development at the Open University and have started my first module. I studied over 10 years ago so I am effectly starting from year 2.
I have considered taking student finance to fund my tution fees but I have been back and forth about it as:
a) I have immense shame about taking money. I have been self sufficient for over a decade and always paid my own way and have felt like I am losing my independence a bit and riddled with guilt and shame.
b) I had a student loan the first time I went to Uni and I never managed to pay it off through my wages...ultimately, I decided to pay it off in a lump sum so I could become debt free. I feel shame when I think about getting into debt again.
I can scrape together enough money for fees to cover my degree but the cost will mean I will be having around £10 a week for food...I have been living like this since the start of the year and not eating properly is miserable but it means I won't be in debt. But I want to live not just survive.
Also, if I did go the loan route, it means I could also get my Masters degree, another life goal.
Does anybody else as an older student feel any kind of shame about the loans?
Thank you. All the best.

Hello!

I'm not an older student in fact I am actually applying to university this year after sixth form, so not sure if you'd appreciate this but here are some thoughts from a different perspective:

a) Unless you are Bill Gates or Elon Musk then no, you don't need to feel any shame in applying for a loan. Not every one is perfect and no one can do everything as perfectly as they wish. I know a guy who's in his 50s and is in his second year of undergrad. He's got a family and a job but he's applied for the course and student loan like a normal student. He's also taking advantage of his student identity by using discounts etc.

b) As long as you reach your goals there's no stress. If you feel that you will get a higher paying job because of your degree then go for it! Everyone's been strapped for cash at least once in their lives and there's no shame for it. Besides, you don't need to announce to the world that you're in "debt". And I think there is a system where you can pay your fees back slowly? Or after a certain period of time or salary? Or have you thought about getting a job which will pay for your education whilst you work with them?

Or have you thought about being a part time student? It will take longer to finish your degree but it means you have more time to work meaning more money coming in...?

Knowledge is power! So why not tick off that one job on the bucket list :smile:

Hope it goes well!

(edited 1 month ago)

Reply 2

Autumn223

You can ask for a partial student loan?
It would significantly lessen any student debt after studies but you would be able to leave more money for weekly needs.
I am doing this with some money i earned in a part time job during 6th form, and I have a reduced debt in comparison to my peers.

Reply 3

gjd800

I was a mature student who had also been self sufficient and I didn't care one bit. I understand reluctance, but 'deep shame' is to me an overreaction indicative if a different issue.

10 a week is plain stupid and reckless. Take a loan ffs

Reply 4

hotpud

Original post by CheckMyBrain

Good evening all, I hope you're doing well and enjoying your studies.
I am in my mid-30s and I recently left the workforce in order to do one of my life goals, that is to get my Bachelor's degree.
I am studying software development at the Open University and have started my first module. I studied over 10 years ago so I am effectly starting from year 2.
I have considered taking student finance to fund my tution fees but I have been back and forth about it as:
a) I have immense shame about taking money. I have been self sufficient for over a decade and always paid my own way and have felt like I am losing my independence a bit and riddled with guilt and shame.
b) I had a student loan the first time I went to Uni and I never managed to pay it off through my wages...ultimately, I decided to pay it off in a lump sum so I could become debt free. I feel shame when I think about getting into debt again.
I can scrape together enough money for fees to cover my degree but the cost will mean I will be having around £10 a week for food...I have been living like this since the start of the year and not eating properly is miserable but it means I won't be in debt. But I want to live not just survive.
Also, if I did go the loan route, it means I could also get my Masters degree, another life goal.
Does anybody else as an older student feel any kind of shame about the loans?
Thank you. All the best.

You need to put your shame to one side. Pride is the one thing that keeps the poor poor. "They can take everything", they say, "but they can't take our pride" and so they take everything and what have you got? A feeling and often it is of acute hunger. The rich and the successful don't think twice about taking other people's money. In fact, the rich give each other money because doing so is tax efficient. That £50k Boris borrowed to do up the Downing Street flat. He hasn't paid that back, nor was it used to pay for the flat. It was simply spends. So get off your high horse and use Student Finance to better yourself which is what it is there for.

If it helps, I took out student finance in the late 90s. It financed a stereo, climbing gear and some amazing holidays to the Alps climbing. I had to pay it back because back then it genuinely was a loan. The latest loans are not loans. They are taxes. You have a number on a computer somewhere against your name and that number is designed to go up faster than you can pay it off. So resign yourself to the fact that whatever you get paid after you graduate is what you get paid and don't worry about it but know that by the time you retire you will either earn below the threshold or the number will have been written off.

Just to let you know my own circumstances - I did a PGCE in 2016 and managed to put £20k to my name. It is probably worth £30k now, who knows, but I have new windows and a new kitchen and we had an amazing family holiday in Greece so thank you HMRC. I plan to a masters this year so that will be another 6% of my salary gone before I even see it. I know I won't notice it such is the way our finances work (we are not rich BTW). It will probably work out at around £50 a month or a cheap night out. Pretty good value if you ask me.

If there is one thing that is more valuable in this life than money, it is education and learning. So don't sacrifice that for money. There is plenty of money in the world to go around. If you want it, it is there for the taking. But learning and education - only a fool would deny themselves that for want of money.

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